Is it a Matter of Respect or Control????

So this week we have a question from a Sis that made me stop & think a little. My question was: Is it considered a matter of respect or control Sis?? Well, YOu be the judge!

Sis; Hey Girl Hey I have a question/problem/concern sooooo, my man & I have a constant issue about my clothing. I mean I dressed like this when we met, but now all of a sudden it's a problem. I don't think that it's inappropriate or anything, but the constant argument is it may have been ok when I was single, but I'm not anymore so I should definitely adjust my way of thinking. Is this true, is this what you sign up for in a relationship, is this respect in a relationship, or is this control? Please chime in as I am a very independent woman & I'm extremely torn about this. I love my guy, but I also love my individuality & giving it up is concerning, like what's next?

So Sis, I referenced team internet first and there was a wide range of opinions from women & men from all walks of life from women's rights to religious groups so here's are some opinions: * I used to dress up because I was insecure & trying to get attention. "To catch someone" In the early days of our relationship, I felt like I always had to look amazing, otherwise, any other woman could steal my boyfriend right out from under me. I realize now that if that happened, I would’ve been better off without him, but when a relationship is so young and fragile, it’s hard to be logical. I dressed up more because I thought I had to keep his interest rather than because I wanted to. *There's a difference between controlling and caring. If you dress too revealing, you are inviting other men into your life. That's probably how he sees it. My advice is to dress the way you want around the house and maybe even wear less if you two live together. *No. He's just protective. He doesn't want other men looking at your body. Maybe because he sees you as his. I'd say possessive is a better word than controlling. You're gonna have to determine the difference. Protective suggests he acts that way because he REALLY cares about you, possessive implies he acts that way because he sees you more as a trophy. I suggest sitting down and talking to him about it. *No, he is not controlling. He only spoke his mind, and in a relationship, a person should be able to speak his mind and be honest. Maybe, he only stated the obvious. Maybe, he wants to be protective and doesn't want other people to look at your beauty. What is the point of dressing in such a way if your boyfriend doesn't like it? I mean we usually dress to impress our partner, and when the partner doesn't like it what is the point? Would you be happier if you had a boyfriend who expected you to wear revealing clothes and look provocative to keep him interested in you? That would have been lust rather than love. If he wants you to be simple and doesn't expect you to look bold, sexy, and hot then you are a very lucky girl. There is a quote, "if a guy loves you he shouldn't feel the need to open your shirt buttons to get a better view of your heart." In other words, he should not feel the need for a girl to wear revealing clothes to get a better view of her soul, personality, and inner beauty and to love her more. Perhaps, he wants to be the only person who gets to see your beauty. It makes more sense for a partner to see your beauty whom you have a relationship with rather than strangers, who don't know you. It would have been okay if you were single but certain things have to change when we are in a relationship because then it is not just about you, your likes and dislikes. The decision depends on you- you can change your ways to make your boyfriend feel happy. If you do so, he may end up having more respect for you that you cared about his feelings and he will appreciate it. Or you can have the attitude- "take it or leave, accept me the way I am, or break up with me."

RGP Answer; Well, Sis, I have some experience in this it's hard to find a happy medium when trying to learn a new partner, but my question is always about tone and countenance. Because you can say pretty much anything to me, but it's how you say it. So how did your partner bring these concerns to you? Was it in love & concern or was it in a controlling and lecturing tone? This helps me to see where my partner is coming from. That way I can see where the conversation is going. In every relationship changes and concessions have to be made, but only if we are comfortable with them and see that those are things that need to be changed to better ourselves. I always say if you buy a car and you change so many parts that the car becomes unrecognizable you should have just bought the car that you wanted. I feel the same way about a partner. Don't get with someone & try to change them into someone that they are Not. Find someone more like the person you want.

Real Girl Problemz Tribe; What advice, quotes, affirmations, scriptures, views, or words do YOu'll have for Sis please share????