What if it was Your Kid?

So this week brings some questions & concerns from some Real Girls & a Guy 😊, but also the topic comes at the perfect time for Pride month.

Well the question that was asked to me was what if it was your kid? Well, the follow-up twist to the question from a Real Guy was it’s different if it’s a daughter vs. a son. Is it really??? 🤷🏽‍♀️ I hate the way that question or statement is posed in regards to homosexuality. WHY in the world would it be okay to digest it much easier for your daughter to be gay rather than your son?

So, a Real Guy is having an issue asking his son if he’s gay after several family members have told him that his son has made comments, has been involved in conversations, & has even had his makeup done by female cousins. At this point it’s hearsay he says but, he's about to be eighteen & hasn’t had a girlfriend. I ask about girls all the time & he always changes the subject. I don’t live in the same area, but when I visit him I notice things that make me suspicious about his sexuality. I wouldn’t know how to take it if he’s gay. He’s my son & I’ll always love him but he can’t ever bring no dude around me. What should I do?

Well a Real Girl, my daughter is gay I’m pretty much convinced. She hasn’t told me as yet, but my family is super conservative I’m more afraid of them & the world than anything else also why wouldn’t my daughter be comfortable enough to tell me, I thought we were close enough that she would know that I would be understanding & accepting. Help me! How do other parents deal with this, their families, & protect them from the outside world??

RGP Answer; Upon research, Education is always first & foremost in everything so I turned to team Google first as always for a couple of opinions so there is a potpourri of some opinions below; For parents As a parent, you may have understandable questions or concerns if you think that your child might be lesbian, gay, bi, and/or trans (LGBT). We've answered some of the most common ones below. I think that my child might be LGBT. How can I be sure? Until your child comes and tells you that they are, or might be LGBT, you can’t know. Try not to make assumptions and let them come and tell you in their own time. Create a positive environment where your child feels able to talk to you about their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. For example, say positive things about LGBT people when they’re on TV and don’t allow others to say negative things under your roof.

But I don’t agree with it The truth is, if you’ve got a problem with the idea of your child being LGBT, you’re going to have to live with it and accept it. The best thing you can do is put your feelings to one side and remember that, regardless of your child's sexual orientation and gender identity, you love them and want them to be happy. As for other family members: if they don’t react well initially, put some rules in place and establish what can and can’t be said in front of your child. Talking about it is a good thing One thing you can do is give them the information they need to make good decisions. LGBT young people often lack access to information about their rights, where to access support, sex, and staying safe - even if you feel like you can’t talk about it personally, you should at least be able to point them in the direction of the information they need. You can contact Stonewall's Information Service for pointers.

Won’t be LGBT make their life harder for them? One of the hardest things for LGBT people to face is rejection from their friends and family. New laws have made our country fairer and more equal. Same-sex couples can now get married and have children, and there is legislation to protect LGBT people in the workplace. There are more LGBT role models in the arts, politics, and sport, and those people who have a problem with LGBT people are an increasingly small minority. Support if your child comes out as bi At Stonewall, we use 'bi' to mean anyone who is attracted to more than one gender. This includes, but is not limited to, bisexual, bi-curious, fluid, pan, and queer. If your child comes out as bi, the best thing you can do is to recognize this identity as real and valid in its own right. While it may be tempting to assume your child is just 'going through a phase', this can be damaging to bi people as it suggests what they're experiencing is temporary and unimportant. Unfortunately, some members of the LGBT community may also suggest that bi identities are not real or valid, so if you reassure your child that their identity is valid, this can be helpful. While sometimes coming out as bi may be a part of someone coming out as a lesbian or as gay, any assumptions about this can reinforce the idea that bi identities are temporary. We'd encourage you to always be led by your child in terms of how they describe their sexual orientation, and not to dismiss their feelings or experiences at any stage.

Support if your child comes out

DON’T Ignore it. DON’T Say you “knew all along.” DON’T Tell them “this is just a phase.” DON’T Use religion to shame them. DO Tell them you believe and love them, and thank them for telling you. DO Ask about what kind of support they need. DO Commit to being an ally to the evolving LGBTQ community. DO Get support for yourself.

On a personal note when I was about eighteen years old a good friend of mine came out to me telling his story of being in the closet all of his life. He told me how alienated he was from his friends & "Southern Christian" family & that when he tried to come out how the hatred he experienced drove him into depression & almost to the point of suicide. We cried together with my pain for my friend changed my entire life that day. Coming from a very close-minded Caribbean family subjects like homosexuality wasn't something that was very tolerant, but God knows why we are put in certain situations. I & that person are still friends 24 years later & the lessons I learned that day gave me the humble wisdom, knowledge, understanding, tolerance, & heart to the Real Girl that I am.

Hey Tribe care to chime in & help Sis with a word? I bet she’d appreciate it & so would I! 😘