But, They Always Looked So Happy?

But they always looked so happy!

Such a common misconception SMH & something I hear all too often. Many times too late.

So the Real Problemz is that this Season brings many things to many people, but the reality is while Children are busy thinking of presents & Santa. Many adults dread the Holiday Season. I have many Real Girlz & Guyz that are struggling with regular real-life day-to-day things so the Holidays just bring added anxieties to an already stressful life. The stress of thoughts of loved ones who are gone or expectations of family visits, the financial stresses, and the emotional toll that the Holidays take on some are far worse than some can ever imagine.

Do depression rates rise during the holidays? Yes, patterns of increased rates of depression during the holidays have been documented by doctors and mental health professionals for years. And the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that 64% of people living with a mental illness reported that their conditions worsened around the holidays.

So Real To My Realzzzzzzzzz This is True! The holiday blues are real. Despite the general atmosphere of joyousness and celebration, many people experience the holidays as a time to “get through” rather than a time to enjoy. Family dynamics, full event calendars, and the pressure to “be merry” can make the holiday season particularly stressful. But sadness often creeps in, too. Here are a few reasons why:

Financial stress This year, the average American will spend $1048 during the winter holidays. That’s a lot of money, and the pressure to spend it is almost impossible to escape. Everywhere you look, on TV, on billboards, and even in your inbox, the message is spent spend. If you’re using credit cards to spend money you don’t have in order to live up to the “ideal” presented in advertisements, you may also be dredging up fear or shame along with your financial stress.

Social isolation Maybe your family is far away, or maybe you’ve been too busy to maintain friendships over the past year. Whatever the cause, many people don’t even notice the absence of social relationships in their life until the holidays approach. Then suddenly, it seems like everyone else around them is spending festive time with loved ones, and loneliness rears its head. For those who don’t have close family and friends around them during the holidays, feelings of sadness and depression are common.

Emotional isolation The holidays bring additional pressure to “connect,” which can be stressful for someone who is feeling disconnected on an emotional level. Loneliness is not always resolved by going to parties and participating in holiday events. A person who feels a deep sense of disconnection from others might find that this feeling is exacerbated in larger crowds or at family gatherings, particularly during this time of year when they feel like they “should” be feeling differently.

Uncomfortable memories The physical environment triggers memories. The sights, sounds, and smells of holidays past can have a significant impact on us in the present. Holiday nostalgia passes on from year to year, which is part of what makes this time special. But for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one or who suffered some kind of trauma during previous holidays, uncomfortable feelings and memories are likely to rise to the surface during this time of year.

Overscheduling Most of us know that we need to manage the stress in our lives, so we work to prevent it or mitigate it as it arises. But during the holidays, the importance of this is often forgotten because so much of what we pack into our calendars are meant to be fun and celebratory. We rush from one event to the next, make cookies, buy gifts, hang decorations, travel, get together with friends, and do all manner of tasks that fill up our to-do lists and cause a great deal of stress. Exhaustion and stress are detrimental to a person’s mental health. If you’re prone to depression, these conditions can exacerbate your symptoms.

Unrealistic expectations Television commercials pluck at our heartstrings and trigger nostalgia. This is deliberate, and most of us fall for it. Even if we’re careful not to make emotional purchases, we may subconsciously buy into the idea of what the holidays “should” look like. We see happy families sharing buttered rolls and buying each other expensive cars. And when our real-life families bring their usual dysfunctions to dinner, or our children fight on Christmas morning, we may experience it as a personal failure. Unrealistic expectations of others and of ourselves increase holiday stress and can lead to symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Your mental health matters. So this Holiday Season check in on your friends & family. Make sure you check on the strong friends also, the people who you think are the happiest usually hide the saddest feelings. Be kind to yourself this holiday season give yourself some grace & some space. Also, remember that you make someone smile & this world is better with you. No matter what it looks like the Sun will always rise tomorrow. I know you can't see it Realzzz, but please trust me It Will Get Better!