Did YOu Even Check On Me Though?

So Hey Realz it's been a minute. Not that I haven't had Realz sending Problemz & Issues or that I don't have enough of my own to write about lol. That may be the bigger issue "LIFE". I'm not saying she kicking my butt, but I will say that Bih, got handz, y'all. Never the upper hand though, NEVER let this thing called life get you Realz. The sun will Always shine again just make it through Today & Let tomorrow take care of itself.

So Sis got a question: After going through a very rough season with me and my children mentally, physically, spiritually, & most of all financially. I am finally out of the dark & I realize that all of my friends that are coming back around now were ghosts while I was going through. I am not the type of person to ask for anything, so I'm not talking about the financial aspect of these friendships. Sis, I sat here the other night and asked myself Did they even check on me? At this point, I'm using the friend word loosely and side-eyeing everyone including family. What do you say, Sis?

Ok, Sis well YOu said a lot right there so let me tell you what the people on team internet said first & then go with my opinion lol.

So per Mz. Google; Sometimes it feels like maintaining friendships has never been as complicated as it is right now, despite constant access to people's lives through social media. The COVID-19 pandemic has been linked to a rise in loneliness, while some have felt socially anxious about returning to in-person activities following strict quarantines and isolation over the last few years. The point is, keeping up friendships often requires effort, especially when distance, differing life stages, and shifting priorities are at work. When you add a pandemic into the mix, it only exacerbates the already tricky task of staying in touch with people, and sometimes sending a text or making a call to an acquaintance or even a close friend can feel like a lot of work. But if recent research is any indication, it's worth making the effort to check in on your friends. A new study conducted by researchers from the University of Pittsburgh, which was published on July 1, 2022, in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, determined that people appreciate unexpected check-ins more than most think. To come to this conclusion, the researchers conducted 13 experiments on more than 5,900 participants with a focus on monitoring simple social interactions. For instance, in one experiment, researchers had a person reach out to an acquaintance with whom they were "friendly." Other experiments involved a person reaching out to someone they considered to be a friend. Reaching out could be a quick call, text, email, or sending a small gift. Those who reached out were then asked to rate how happy they believed the recipient of their message would be. Then, the researchers asked the recipients how much they appreciated the check-in, and a pattern emerged. Those who reached out tended to underestimate the reaction to their casual check-in, while those on the other end of the line appreciated their gesture, even more so when they hadn't heard from the initiator in a long time. "Altogether, this research identifies a robust tendency to underestimate how much others appreciate being reached out to," wrote the researchers in the study, adding that the element of surprise for the recipients explains the disconnect in expected and actual reactions they observed. Discovering the root cause of this "underestimation" is important, as not knowing how much a simple call or text could mean to someone may deter people from reaching out, according to the researchers. Right now, it's no secret social isolation is a major issue, as the researchers point out in their study. But according to their findings, maintaining friendships by way of those "just-because" texts, phone calls, and emails holds more value than you might imagine. Researchers hope this study helps people gain the confidence needed to reconnect with people now that many COVID-19 restrictions have been lifted, they added in the study. "For those treading back into the social milieu with caution and trepidation, feeling woefully out of practice and unsure, our work provides robust evidence and an encouraging green light to go ahead and surprise someone by reaching out. Such reach-outs are likely to be appreciated more than one thinks," concluded the study authors. Think about it this way: Have you ever meant to text a friend, but decided not to for fear of wasting their time or not being appreciated? If so, maybe this research will provide the sway you need to send that text, make that phone call, send that gift, or pen that email in the future — because as people work to reconfigure their approach to keeping friendships alive, it's important to know that seemingly simple gestures can go a long way. "I sometimes pause before reaching out to people from my pre-pandemic social circle for a variety of reasons," said the study's lead author, Peggy Liu, Ph.D., according to the study's abstract. "When that happens, I think about these research findings and remind myself that other people may also want to reach out to me and hesitate for the same reasons," she continued. "I then tell myself that I would appreciate it so much if they reached out to me and that there is no reason to think they would not similarly appreciate my reaching out to them."

RGP Answer: Well Sis, I think that we have all been there. There are so many quotes, memes, & cliche sayings about checking on your strong friends & this and that, but the fact of the matter is we all just need to do better & be better. As a Tribe, we need to realize when we aren't. Like honestly Check on each other. Not to receive or give the tea, but to actually & genuinely make sure that were good. On all fronts, we talk to our friends and family & crazy enough sometimes our significant other about random bs, but we can't share our hearts, our dirt, and our ugly feelings. That's crazy, we are all out here hurting & if YOur Tribe can't sit here with you in the dirt. They should be allowed to celebrate with YOu. That's my Real....

But, what says YOu Tribe? Do you'll have any experience, advice, stories, tidbits, or words of encouragement for Sis??